Stop Bracing, Start Reframing
“Your silence will not protect you.”
~ AUDRE LORDE ~
What if your feelings weren’t your downfall, but your doorway?
Somewhere along the path of leadership, we’ve been sold a dangerous story: that emotions are a liability.
That being “brave” means pretending we’re not afraid. That to be strong is to be stoic.
But here’s the truth that transformational leaders are now waking up to, your feelings aren’t what make you fall apart. It’s the story you tell yourself about those feelings that unravel everything.
Let me explain.
The Moment It All Changed
Will came to one of my sessions on the verge of losing everything: his career, his confidence, and his connection. After 26 years with the same company, his life crumbled: job gone, car repossessed, home lost, marriage hanging by a thread.
During our second call, he broke down. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, trying to hold back.
I told him the truth he didn’t know he needed:
“Get it out. Don’t be ashamed. You’re not falling apart. You’re falling open.”
That day, we didn’t talk about career strategy, we talked about emotional mastery. That’s where real transformation begins.
The Hidden Truth Behind Emotional Reactions
According to a 2024 report by McLean & Company, 65% of U.S. employees reported experiencing burnout, and 46% considered quitting their jobs within the past year.
But burnout isn’t caused by hard work alone, it’s caused by emotional suppression, the stories we repeat internally when setbacks strike.
We say:
- “I should’ve seen that coming.”
- “Maybe I’m not good enough.”
- “I’ve failed again.”
These aren’t facts. They’re fiction posing as truth—stories born in fear, shame, and scarcity.
The incident (the layoff, the rejection, the unmet goal) is what happened.
The emotional chaos? That’s the story we told ourselves about what it means.
Bravery Isn’t the Goal. Responsibility Is
Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to be brave. We become brave when we run out of other options and we choose courage over cowering. Bravery is choosing composure over chaos and courage over comfort.
What we do want is Courage. Clarity. Confidence.
These aren’t given to the few who avoid failure. They’re built by those willing to take full ownership of their narrative in the face of failure.
That’s what Cynthia discovered after our third session together. Facing a career crossroads and haunted by rejection, she embraced a new habit: recording daily affirmations as if her success was already unfolding.
Her words changed. Her energy shifted. And with it, so did her confidence and most importantly, her results.
The Reframe That Changes Everything
Here’s the pivot powerful leaders make:
- They pause before reacting
Instead of reacting, they ask: “What am I making this mean?” - They shift from victims to visionary
“This didn’t happen to me. It happened for me.” - They own their response
Because response, not reaction, is where power lives.
The University of Phoenix Career Optimism Index found that 64% of employees feel stuck due to a lack of clarity and emotional overwhelm. And yet, those who engaged in intentional reframing exercises reported 30% higher confidence in career decisions.
The Bottom Line for Business Leaders
Whether you’re leading a team of five or five thousand, the energy of your workplace is shaped not by external events, but by the emotional narratives people carry internally.
That means:
- Confidence isn’t built by pushing harder.
- Engagement isn’t sparked by more strategy meetings.
- Retention isn’t fixed by perks and ping-pong tables.
It’s built when people feel seen, safe, and supported in rewriting their internal stories.
Because confident people create confident cultures—and confident cultures create bottom-line results.
What’s Your Next Step?
If you’re tired of operating from stress, pretending to be brave, or watching your team crumble under invisible emotional weight, it’s time to lead differently.
Because feelings aren’t your foe.
They’re your fuel.
The question is: Will you let them drive you forward or derail you?
Are you ready to rewrite your story?
If you’re tired of your feelings derailing you—or exhausted by your team’s emotional outbursts and the distractions that follow—it’s time to shift the narrative. Emotional mastery isn’t just possible, it’s powerful.
Click here to schedule a clarity call with Meshell today and begin rewriting your leadership story: https://calendly.com/meshellbaker/chat-with-meshell
Let’s talk. I help leaders reframe their reactions, elevate their confidence, and activate cultures of unstoppable resilience.
Be the reason someone feels Confident and delivers Excellence!
Meshell 💜
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