“What if all this time, all this struggle, has been leading you to a beautiful chapter in your life? What if everything does work out, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now? What if who I become is who I needed all along? What if all of this hard work leads to amazing things? What if you replaced negativity with optimism? Would your thoughts and behavior change too? I believe so.”
~ Tiffany Moule ~
Way… Way… WAAAYYY too often you are doubting how amazing you are.
Finding yourself stuck focusing on the “can’ts,” “won’ts,” “buts,” and “what-ifs”?
Do the choices in front of you seem and feel impossible?
Is the only thing in your sightline more struggle and doubt?
But still… anything that could go wrong can also go right. Right?
Obstacles will always be a part of successful living. And success requires that you begin to anticipate them. No, this doesn’t mean you are a “truth seer” looking into the future. It does mean that you fortify your emotional strength. Why? Because it’s your emotions that trip you up most often.
So what is the difference? What is the dividing line?
This is the thing that people don’t realize – it’s all about choices.
The only differentiator between someone who is living paycheck to paycheck and someone who is incredibly wealthy is choice.
Successful people have accepted the circumstances and situations presented handed them and decided to make different choices to carve a path of their design.
Life will give you amazing outcomes, but it requires that you meet and face your challenges and difficulties. You must make a choice.
Every moment of every day you’re making a choice… Fight or flight.
So let’s take a deeper look at CHOICE?
C is CHANGE your emotions and mental images.
As soon as you encounter a challenge, you begin to “feel” some kind of way. It triggers an emotion; a knee-jerk reaction in your body.
Did you know that your body holds the history of your emotions? Challenges create uncertainty and fear-producing waves of nervousness, doubt, and hesitation.
That “feeling” is a lie! If the feelings you are feeling don’t inspire, ignite and excite you, compelling you to forge through your challenges in pursuit of your passionate desires… they are a lie!
When you feel something negative that’s counter to the amazing you seek, those “feelings” can’t possibly be true.
What is the mental image of your vision? – Is it for greatness? Is it a big, hairy, audacious goal for an amazing life?
When you are met with difficulties and challenges, hold your image before you, and choose the emotional state that believes in your future. When you master your emotional state, fear must flee so that excitement can take up residence within you. Then you will see the possibility of your vision and enjoy the journey to success.
H is HEAR “no” from self and others.
Become adept at saying “no” to people and things that don’t serve you, and you will master being able to receive “no”. One of the reasons you are constantly uncomfortable is the belief that “no” means lack or failure. You have been conditioned to experience the fear of missing out… F.O.M.O.
AND when you don’t say it enough to yourself, or when you fail to keep your word to yourself. Like when you say “No, I’m not going to eat that”. Or “no, I’m not going to stay up late”. “No, I’m not going to do that anymore”. You are not keeping your word to yourself. Hearing and saying that word will help you eliminate the sting of rejection and understand that it’s just another word. Telling yourself “no” will serve you: your dreams, your purpose, your life.
Now, if others say “no” to you, you are not repelled, you have been fortified and can move past it and on to the next stage in your life.
O is for OPTIONS, consider there are many.
Are you considering your options? Remember, you always have a choice. Take a deep breath and exhale. You may think that you’re running out of time and out of options. Or you’re paralyzed by FOMO (fear of missing out). What you don’t realize is that joy is an option that’s waiting for you to choose it.
If you are not clear in your vision or where you are going, you will feel overwhelmed by what to do. Fear creeps in and you begin to question “what if it doesn’t work out”, but what if, instead, you chose to believe it will work out. You get to choose happiness and experience the exuberance of “Oh, my God; this is awesome. I get to say “no” and it is awesome. I get to walk away. This is awesome”.
Realize everything that comes to you is not for you. You must give yourself permission to refine and strategically target what it is you actually want.
I is INTENTIONALLY increase your failure rate.
What most people don’t understand is that success demands a lot of rejection and “no” and naysayers and critics. The reason that you’re thinking it won’t work out is that you haven’t built up your reservoir, again, of the “nos”, all the failures, the setbacks. You haven’t built up your muscle and your strength to understand that this is just a blip.
It’s never something that’s meant to stop you. It’s actually meant to strengthen and encourage you. Even if it’s a distraction or a denial, it still doesn’t mean it has to stop you. You have options. You can get back up. You can keep going.
So when you intentionally increase your failure rate, you’ll have more success. The most successful people have failed the most in life. And people don’t get that. They say “Oh, these people are incredibly successful”. No, they’re incredible failures.
C is CELEBRATE the possibility and the redirection.
When you make a decision, celebrate your choice. Focus on celebrating no matter what happens. No matter the outcome. Have confidence that you have made the best choice ever.
Too many people get caught up in what they could have, would have, and should have done. And the reality will always be… you did not do it.
Stop wasting your limited time. You are using and burning your precious moments and your energy, and your power by focusing and thinking about something that’s never gonna happen. The word “should” does not empower you nor will it inspire you. Let go of what was and create what will be.
Celebrate the choices that declare your amazing future and dare you to become the best version of yourself. Remind yourself regularly, “What was is gone. I made the choice. This IS going to work whatever the outcome because I’ve made the best choice and it’s going to work in my favor”.
E is EVERYTHING is working in your favor
It’s all working in your favor! This is the hardest thing for people to believe.
Why? Because it requires becoming clear on What it is you want? and Why do you really want it?
Enthusiastically and gratefully holding a vision in the midst of challenges, difficulties, setbacks, naysayers, critics, and hardship can and will feel absolutely impossible. Yet without your unwavering belief that you are moving in a favorable direction for your best outcomes, why would it happen?
Why do you imagine that you can create an amazing life, career, business, or relationship without invoking joy and appreciation for the people and path? Please understand if you do not enjoy your life’s choices and journey, it will be impossible for you to arrive anywhere that delights you.
Discover what lights you up, what makes your soul sings, and incorporate the people, places, and activities that make like worth living. And with as much enthusiasm as you can muster begin believing that everything is working in your favor and you’ll be amazed how favored your life becomes. At the doors that open, the relationships that develop, and the opportunities that fall before you.
I dare you today, to replace your thoughts, words, and behaviors with the frustrating focus of ‘what if it doesn’t work’ and to instead make an intentional CHOICE
- C_Change your emotions and mental images
- H_Hear “no” from yourself and others
- O_Options consider there are many
- I_Intentionally increase your failure rate
- C_Celebrate the possibility and redirection
- E_Everything is working in your favor
… to ask yourself, “What if it does work?”
Need a boost or pick me up, Check out Meshell’s Confidence Starter: https://resources.meshellbaker.com/confidence-starter-kit
Want to create a clear and compelling vision that ignites your Unstoppable Confidence, let’s chat: https://calendly.com/meshellbaker/discovery-call
If you are in need of some confidence-boosting tips, take the quiz: https://meshellrbaker.com/confidencequiz/
Blessings for your Beautiful Journey,